Kan Jam is better than Cornhole

The weather is getting colder, the leaves are changing color, and across campus Halloween costumes of varying levels of vulgarity are being meticulously assembled. The last thing on anyone’s mind right now, is the outdoor weather season. A wintry eternity lies between us and the Spring semester. However, it is never too early to begin thinking about the issues that truly matter in life. Issues like the fact that cornhole is boring and Kan Jam is awesome.

Yeah, you heard me. I’m a Kan Jam guy. It honestly perplexes me that every darty on campus features cornhole, yet absolutely none include Kan Jam as a part of their lawn-game arsenal.

Do you know why the game is called cornhole? Because someone, somewhere, thought it would be fun to fill a bunch of small bags with dried corn and throw them at a piece of wood. Sure, it’s something to do. But, it’s 2017 people. Recreational technology has surpassed the “dried corn” stage. It’s time we took advantage of it.

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Kan Jam Vs. Cornhole: A three-part definitive ruling

  1. Ballistic superiority: frisbees are sleeker and more efficient projectiles. Plus they’re just more fun to throw. How do I know this? Let me answer that question with a another question. When have you ever seen a group of students standing on the quad throwing a bean-bag to one another? Never, that’s when.
  2. Easy setup: an entire Kan Jam set weights about two pounds and is comprised of three plastic pieces. A cornhole set weighs, oh I don’t know, however much a small pile of wood weighs. Not to mention the six bean-bags which will inevitably rip open at some point. Transporting, carrying, and assembling Kan Jam requires less effort and will result in fewer splinters.
  3. Gameplay: Kan Jam demands a bit more in terms of athletic prowess — not to mention a healthy dose of coordination and fitness. That being said, the game can easily be played with a drink in your hand and not a single drop of sweat on your forehead. The scoring is easier to keep track of and the teamwork is more involved. Overall, Kan Jam is a more competitive, dynamic, and skill-based game.

I don’t dislike cornhole. I just believe that there are better games out there. So, let’s do ourselves a favor and start playing them.

I rest my case. Let’s make this spring, Kan Jam season.

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