A ruined weekend

Alas, this past weekend will go down in history as one of the worst of my life, a particular shame due to all the exciting plans I originally had. Indeed, Friday night, Saturday and Sunday were filled with promise; Chinese takeout from Ping’s was to be ordered, a dear friend’s birthday was to be celebrated and midnight madness was to be experienced in all its glory.

While all these splendid events did occur, an impromptu scheme arose on Friday night, one that would mar the joy of the following days. What could have possibly gone wrong? Well, I will tell you: the decision to watch Disney-Pixar’s “Inside Out” ruined my weekend, and perhaps my semester.

When deciding which film to watch, my friends and I briefly considered the trailer as well as the general consensus from the public. With stellar reviews and a colorful preview, “Inside Out” seemed to fit the bill for a heart-warming watch to which you didn’t have to pay too much attention. We all thought it was the perfect choice for a low-key Friday night. We were deadly wrong. As soon as the film began, the intentionally “fuzzy” quality to the animation makes me feel sick inside.

I thought about telling my friends to shut off the movie right then and there, but then I recalled the 98% it had on RottenTomatoes…”I won’t hate this!” I thought to myself, so I let what I would later define as “torture” continue.

As the general premise of the film was spelled out with a painful lack of subtlety, I realized how much I hated all of the characters. Looks-wise, Joy was essentially bargain bin Tinkerbell, though unlike the beloved fairy, Joy was always running her irritating mouth. By the end of the film, seeing Joy filled me with unspeakable rage. I also don’t know what the animators were thinking when constructing the plot for this film; it is incredibly hard to like characters who are intentionally one dimensional.

For instance, Sadness was intolerable. Her insipid voice, stupid haircut, unflattering outfit and refusal to be anything other than a total depressing buzzkill had me tearing out my own hair by the end of the film. Yet she was the animated depiction of SADNESS, so her characteristics made sense, though I still hated her for it.

Truthfully, I could write my senior capstone on everything I despised about this film. However, for the sake of brevity, I will only include of more contemptuous feature. Above all, the worst aspect of “Inside Out” was the horrific character of Bing Bong, Riley’s imaginary best friend.

Bing Bong is an abomination. He is a monstrosity crafted out of cotton candy, weird bird legs, a flaccid elephant trunk and a smelly raccoon tail. He putzes around in an ill-fitting jacket and a teeny tiny hat that struck genuine fear into my heart. I’ll be honest, I had a nightmare after watching “Inside Out” due to this repulsive creature.

How and why Riley imagined this crude beast to be her best friend, I will never know, nor do I want to. His tasteless jokes and intolerable voice made “Inside Out” that much more difficult to watch, and I don’t want to ever come in contact with what the animators were on when they created Bing Bong. 

As painful as it was to relive this experience, I hope this column helps my Gettysburg peers avoid the same, weekend-ruining mistake.

4.11/5 (9)

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