What your Mario Kart character choice says about you

After consistent demand, I decided to share what one’s Mario Kart character choice reveals about their personality. To keep it simple, I am only considering the main characters. Obviously, this article is meant in good fun, so please enjoy!

Mario – You’re a no-nonsense person who likes to get the job done. Unfortunately, you’re not very creative, and rather unsightly.

Boo – You’re an oddball, but relatively harmless. You probably have bad body odor, and terrible hygiene in general,  so people tend to steer clear of you.

Luigi – You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, and odds are, you don’t have very good hand-eye coordination. With your severe intellectual deficiencies, most people only tolerate your presence.

Princess Peach – Sorry, but you’re a nuisance. You constantly implicate yourself in other people’s business, and you’re probably a wannabe beauty queen to boot. Do everyone a favor, and stop playing.

Funky Kong – No one really knows what your deal is, but they respect your ability to care so little.  One piece of advice: Take it easy with the weed, bro. 

Bowser – What are you trying to prove? You have no clear path in life, and it shows. Your constant attempts to cause trouble always fail. Stop trying so hard to be an outsider, and embrace those around you.

Princess Daisy – Unfortunately, you’ve got a massive chip on your shoulder. Odds are you’ve never measured up to one of your siblings, or a close friend.

Yoshi – You’re a quiet and reliable friend. Your loyalty knows no bounds, and most people find your eccentricities (odds are you have a deep-seated oral fixation) to be delightful.

Wario – You’re filthy, and likely related to a pig, at least in part. Do everyone else a favor and take a shower. It wouldn’t hurt to scrub your dirty mind and impure thoughts as well. 

Donkey Kong – Simply put, you CANNOT control yourself. You take everything too far, and you’re a hazard to yourself and everyone around you. 

Waluigi – You’re an utter scoundrel. Despite your immoral and often lewd behavior, women flock to you in droves. You possess a raw, powerful sex appeal that attracts lovers, friends, and enemies alike.

Toad – You have a bubbly, beautiful soul that inspires everyone around you.  Never change.

Shy Guy – Self-explanatory.

Birdo – You’re rather thick and quite sassy, and you often provide a much needed dose of perspective to your pals. However, your appetite for food is almost as great as your appetite for secrets. You have a strong tendency to gossip, and some people find you untrustworthy because of it.

Koopa Troopa – You’re a sick and devious person. Your heinous thoughts and unspeakable crimes are largely unmatched. Although you may have a wide circle of friends, they only tolerate you out of fear. 

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