A Problem Plaguing Our Community

It’s finally time that we talk about a problem that’s been plaguing our campus community for far too long. This issue often hides in the shadows but I believe its time to bring it out into the open.

I’m talking about The Smell.

Every spring (and for a large portion of the fall too) students have to be sealed inside. We can’t venture outside to enjoy the finally not-40-degrees weather because of The Smell.

I’m told The Smell is caused by fertilizer but I’ve never met mulch that Smells Like This. It’s truly the most disgusting thing I’ve ever encountered. It’s like fish guts that have been rotting in a landfill for over 6 months. But I don’t need to describe it to you because you experience it on a daily basis.

And I’m not trying to be dramatic but it’s honestly a health issue. I’ve heard of people contracting bronchitis from spending too much time outside during the peak of The Smell.

Also, Get Acquainted Day is this weekend. Who’s going to want to come to this school when it Smells Like This for a significant portion of the year?

I’m not sure what the solution is here. Maybe facilities can start using a different type of fertilizer? But until The Smell is dealt with, this issue will be at the front and center of students’ eyes and nostrils indefinitely.

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